Metis restaurant in Bali

Dear Me,

Remember this? I know you do.

Hold on, let me switch on the lights.

This is the sort of thing people like you dream about. Look at these slices of beef rib. There’s 1.2 kg of meat right there on that plate. Perfectly charred. Succulent. Melt-in-the-mouth.  And the sides! Oh sweet heavens the sides. Garlic parsley cottage fries, shimeji mushrooms, tomato prôvençale, béarnaise AND cabernet sauce, and green salad with walnut dressing. The salad was just for show, something to gently draw across the carpet of meat in the diners’ stomachs.

And remember the soufflé?

You barely had time to take a snap before your friends set upon it like a horde of hungry jackals. Quite some feat, considering they’d just eaten a whole cow. Yeah, “happy birthday”, you, now get out of the way before I spoon you in the face. You did manage to get your hands on some of the pistachio parfait and pistachio sauce, for which I congratulate you, my little friend, for they were truly sublime with the hot chocolate cloud that was the soufflé.

Have I refreshed your memory? Are things starting to come back to you now? The fogs of time are lifting? Oh good. I’m glad I could be of help.

Now let me ask you this, lady. What kind of a moron goes all the way to Bali for her birthday, and hardly eats a bite? You, that’s who, you idiot. I saw you, picking away at your little foie gras terrine like it was going to slap you in the face. “I don’t feel so well”, you whined. “Uuuggggh my stomach is upset”. Loser.

I hope you’re happy with yourself. Now we have to leave Asia without knowing what Métis’ Côte de Boeuf tastes like. Yeah, that dish that was so good that your friends went back the following night. Thanks a freaking lot, dimwit. Last time I take you anywhere.





Opening hours: Lunch from 11 am, dinner from 5pm

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2 Responses to “Metis restaurant in Bali”
  1. That Guy says:

    You are so selfless. You were just thinking of us and how hungry we were.

  2. yummy, those slices of beef ribs looks really delicious.

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